Saturday, June 28, 2008

Create Your Sister Circle

Having your sister circle, or support group- a network of women that are your elders and peers in matters of motherhood to help assist you, ground you, witness, and support you during the early stages of motherhood. These women will be responsible for making sure you have something healthy to eat, have a moment to take nice a shower, have dishes washed and put away, answering the phones that keep ringing non stop, and tending to your needs, helping with breast feeding,  listening and advocating for you when you're in weird state of hormonal shifting postpartum.  

How do you select your crew?

Pick women whom you admire and who you consider to be skilled.
If one of your friends just happens to make the best veggie lasagne you've ever tasted, you may want to keep her around.

Choose friends who will stand by you during this process.
If your girlfriend bailed out on you when your belly got too big too got out dancing, she's probably not going to prove to be a good fit for your sister circle. 

Choose friends who are patient and understanding.
If your friend is the type to wait for an hour, without complaining, while you try on clothes in the dressing room, and help you select the best look, she's got some damn patience. 

Choose friends who will make you feel good.
The idea is that you are energized and feel rejuvenated during this process. Your friends should contribute to your feelings of joy, telling you jokes, rubbing your hands and feet, giving you hugs, listening to your gripes, and telling you how you're doing a great job.

Meet with these women while you are pregnant and let them know that you intend for them to be an integral part of your life over the following weeks after your child is born.  Give every member a task or responsibility so that all of your needs get met by someone in the sister circle.                                                                                                                                                            

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